Invalidate- synonyms: to discredit, expose, weaken, undermine, shoot down, compromise.
opposite: to support
Many Muslim women are suffering in silence. They are attacked by the voices of Shaytan and his army, the negative and disproving voices of others who have left an imprint on them, internal scripts playing their fears and desires, and sometimes, just sometimes might they be able to hear the voices of angels trying to help them down a right path, by the Will of Allah.
Deciphering "who's voice is who's" is only an ability that can be given as a shifa (healing) from Allah, The Most High. For it is Allah who is Ash-Shafee (The Healter) and An-Nur (The Light).
When a peron submits their whole self to Allah and worships Him (according to The Qur'an and Sunnah) it is only then might they be given a light by which they can see through the darkness in their lives.
Muslims have an opportunity to get this light. However, not every Muslim will take advantage of it. The reason for this is could be due to rebellion but sometimes its because a person is simply ignorant to the long standing patterns of behaviors that are negatively impacting their lives.
Breaking patterns of behaviors that started during childhood can be a hard feat even for a Muslim. This is why Allah, The Most Merciful, tells us in The Qur'an:
يَا أَيُّهَا الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا ادْخُلُوا فِي السِّلْمِ كَافَّةً وَلَا تَتَّبِعُوا خُطُوَاتِ الشَّيْطَانِ ۚ إِنَّهُ لَكُمْ عَدُوٌّ مُّبِينٌ
O you who have believed, enter into Islam completely [and perfectly] and do not follow the footsteps of Satan. Indeed, he is to you a clear enemy.
Surah Al-Bakarah, 2:208
Allah, The Most High, knows how he created us and what conditions we are under. We were all assigned a Shaytan at birth, sent to a certain family, had certain experiences-- all designed to lead us to Islam.
Shaytan and His evil associates have been whispering since birth. When we enter into Islam the only way to escape from these whispers is to embrace Islam and practice it with the upmost striving.
I meet so many women, Muslim women who pray and fast. Yet they are suffering from obsessive and compulsive thoughts to the point they think they have a mental disorder. It is true. They do have a mental disorder -but not in the "dunya" (worldly) sense.
The condition they suffer from is spiritual which is manifesting as a mental dis-order. To put it simply--their thoughts are just "out of order."
The cause for this dis-order is spread across the four domains Those are the Spiritual, Physical, Emotional, and Mental domains of wellness. Consequently, treating this type of dis-ease won't be remedied with simply a pill (physical), or simply keeping up with the prayers (spiritual). It will require deep analysis, self-reflection, and appropriate recommendations for treatment in all domains in order to experience relief, in shaa Allah.
These domains have their independent functions however they also must work in synergy (togetherness) in order to ascend to higher levels of wellness. For instance, the Spiritual and Mental domains must meet order to achieve higher functioning in their respective areas:
An Example of Spiritual & Mental Synergy according to The Qur'an:
Putting thoughts in the proper order (mental wellness) can only be accomplished with a Criteria which is Al-Furqan or The Qur'an- The Criteria between right and wrong (spiritual wellness).
When we abandon this, we abandon our opportunity to heal Spiritually and Mentally. The Qur'an came as a healing for mankind as Allah, The Exalted, says;
وَنُنَزِّلُ مِنَ الْقُرْآنِ مَا هُوَ شِفَاءٌ وَرَحْمَةٌ لِّلْمُؤْمِنِينَ ۙ وَلَا يَزِيدُ الظَّالِمِينَ إِلَّا خَسَارًا
"And We send down of the Qur'an that which is healing and mercy for the believers, but it does not increase the wrongdoers except in loss."
Surah Al-Isra, 17:82
When the Muslim is away from The Qur'an, they become utterly lost drowning in a sea of confusion. The voices become more intense and sometimes the person may embrace them due to fear of being alone.
To embrace these dark whispers is a mistake because Allah, The Light, is always near, ready to help His believing slaves.
I have seen how these voices can consume a persons life. What I have learned over the years talking to sisters is that many people grew up feeling invalidated.
Their true selves were never understood by those around them. Their curiosities as a child were often dismissed and their inner purity was stripped from them and replaced with insecurity leaving much of the "true selves" un-explored. Instead they were encouraged to "fit in", "be normal", etc.
Under these conditions it is hard for a person to maintain a sense of identity. They understand (subconsciously) that the way they are being treated is wrong...but they may overlook the pain being caused to them out of love for the person(s) who is causing it (the pain).
Entering into the world as young adult with such an unclear picture of life and its realities only leads one to seek out what is familiar--people and experiences that will continue to make them feel the way that they felt all their lives. Invalidated. They may fight against it...but at the end of the day, this is the only cycle that they really know.
It is only when one thinks deeply--to understand why they feel invalidated will they be able to truly heal. This process takes time and can be hard to do alone. However, it is necessary because- It is only when we identify what we have truly come from that we can begin to appreciate where Allah wants us to go.
If you are suffering silently and need a sister friend to help you along your journey, just reach out. Consultations are free and completely confidential.
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